I’m coming to the close of my second week of the Ultimate Yogi experience. My back is sore. My hips are achey. I found myself doubting throughout Cardio and Strength.
I think a lot of the pain and aches that I’m feeling are more to do with my personal life than the actual programme, although I do feel that the warm up leave something to be desired. Again, this is more to do with me than the actual course.
I do my yoga in the morning as soon as I get up. It gives me energy, and being of the slightly panicky Polly persuasion, it helps centre me and get me in the right frame of mind for the rest of my day. The only problem with this, is that I’m all crickety ricket and achey from sleeping on a dodgey mattress all night, stealing duvet and space from Alex.
So when I get up, shove a sports bra on and tie the old mane out of my face, I’m hardly prepped for an intense hour of work out. I at least should be going through a couple Cat/Cows to prep the old spine. I have hyper extension in pretty much all of my joints; my shoulders, hips, knees (and weirdly) thumbs to name a few. This makes yoga so much more important to me, because as I build strength round these joints now, I’m ensuring a stronger future for when I’m old and all my joints are popping out.
This also means it’s VITAL for me to warm up, because it’s so easy for me to be a bit lazy and fight the strength and just pop back into my extra stretchy joints.
It’s a minefield.
The doubting myself thing, well that’s hardly anything new, lets face it. What is interesting is how aware I am of it now.
When Hunky Travis tells me to get ready for Yogi Pushups, almost like a “Bless you” after a sneeze, I hear “How am I going to fucking do that?”, every single time.
I don’t meaaaaaan to. It’s not like I enjoy doubting myself, I don’t glean any pleasure from getting frustrated and defeating myself before I can even attempt to get into position, but it just pops up; very much like a pop-up actually.
I think what is happening, is that my self-awareness is starting to develop from doing such an intense practice. With respecting myself and what my body can actually do, I’m also aware of the faux limitations my mind places on me. This extrapolates wider to my actual life.
I’m currently still looking for jobs, applying for every single position and not hearing anything. It does begin to get disheartening when you have a First at Uni, and a local pub doesn’t want you to even cover a couple of shifts. In no way am I saying I’m entitled to work over other people, don’t get me twisted, it’s just that I’ve been promised a future and a job would be secure for me, and that very truly IS NOT the case.
Instead of getting all sour puss and making lists of all the stress that is sleeting on my parade, instead I’ve started looking at all of the positives. I’m healthy, I get more time to write and create, I’ve almost finished my screen play AND my gorgeous boy has just got us some new shelves from B&Q; WHAT IS THERE TO HATE ABOUT.
SO I’m taking my Week Two in my stride, much like the stresses of my life this week. It’s getting achey and sore, I’m getting a bit frustrated, but I’m learning that all I have to do is breathe, focus, and the situation will change; it has to. Nothing stays stagnant forever, even if it changes for the negative it’s still shift to get used to. I choose not to be phased and jolted by this knock back of a twingey hip and no replies to my GLEAMING CV.