So, hey. It’s been a while, about a year and a half if we’re calling spades still spades (in the advent of ‘lit’, ‘boujjy’ and ‘getting pied off’ I think it’s fair for me to tread with a little caution), and my, how the world has changed.
I started a job that I thought would be incredible for me, and in many ways it was, but in the end it became destructive to both my mental health, the goals I had set out for myself and my life in general. Life was incredibly different to how I always envisioned it being, and it was scary how fast the descent was.
This being said, the growth that I experienced in my writing and my relationships was exponential, a freaking SENSATION if you will, and for that CHEERS me old mukka, thanks for the memories and all that.
Now this has been said, when deciding what to write about for my first post back I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say exactly; every creatives dilemma. I kept ping ponging back and forth between crippling self doubt and utter procrastination, and internal monologue that went something like “I WANNA MAKE SOMETHING…but I’m terrible/rubbish/am I seriously binge watching Made In Chelsea, I’m 24 and show wasn’t even good the first time round.”
So I decided to focus on something that’s effecting me right now, today, into my 3rd episode of season 6 where Jamie and Lucy first start seeing each other (they were such a weird couple, like, omg).
Non-attachment is such a big deal for me and I think a lot of people too, but they haven’t realised it yet.
In the yogic term, non-attachment is one of the main aspects of practice, where you learn how to feel non-attachment to objects/things, therefore becoming less materialistic.
Peng, I thought. Super, I mused. I could go without any social media for a bit.
Buying clothes? Could do with saving some money anyway.
Who needs to buy new stuff? Not this gal. SHE is practicing non-attachment and she said doing GREAT.
Obviously, these aren’t the only things that come under non-attachment, which I am now learning. Being able to respect a situation for what it is if it doesn’t go your way, and not completely losing your shit, is non-attachment. Being able view event status almost as an observer and not let the outcome negatively effect your life is non-attachment. Being able to listen to that song by The Rolling Stones with the chorus line “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need”, and seeing that is literally the practice of non-attachment, is non-attachment.
I thought this job I’ve just left was going to be a new excellent jumping off point for me. I thought I was going to go into marketing, live in Nottingham and do my thang. None of this happened or is going to happen, and I freaked the absolute fuck out. I was looking at houses in Nottingham and every single step of the way was riddled with road blocks, in the literal sense sometimes too. It came to the point where’s I had to stop and listen to what the universe was telling me…
GRACE RADFORD, THIS IS A NO GO ZONE, BUDDY, SLOW THE JEFF DOWN.
So do you know what, I took a breath, had a cheese sandwich and opened myself up to the world. I’m now looking at moving to Loughborough to teach special needs children, and I feel ace.
Sometimes it takes a little non-attachment, a little reflection and a hell of a lot of thinking time (maybe a year and a half perhaps) to make you see what is actually important, and to realise nothing is ever permanent or set in stone…and there’s no better time to practice like the present.